Jackelope

  When I was 16 years old a curious thing happened: I was in a miraculous car accident while leaving the county fair. This collision was miraculous for two reasons. First, no one… Read More →

Sesquicentennial: A New Kind of Victory

May the fifth, 1862: Contrary to popular misconception, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico’s independence day. Nevertheless, May 5th is a notable day. El Dia de la Batalla de Puebla, that day in… Read More →

Skunk Puppy

…Both my pets were skunked in the same month, leading me to believe that Uranus must be in retrograde. Or perhaps I have a personal plague of vermin following me around, sadistic skunk… Read More →

Rain Brain

I returned to Flagstaff from Bishop nearly 6 weeks ago, 6 weeks that have gradually caused me to suspect some sort of Bermuda Triangle trickery. The high, arid desert of Northern Arizona is… Read More →

Monsoon Summer

6am Monday morning. Clouds and electricity filibustered the sky with such volume that I shot out of bed pre-alarm, startled and wavering between frustration and concern. A quick check out the window revealed… Read More →

Arrête Killjoy

In a land faraway, a land in the north; in a time not so unlike our own, there was an apple orchard on the edge of a vast forest.  Nature went to work… Read More →

Candy is not Courage

I was something of an evil child.  Manipulative.  Always working an angle. My parents spanked me very few times but I do remember one instance where I had done something really dicey.  I… Read More →

Cold Child in the City

I never was much of a surfer.  I lived in Newport Beach for over a year, even had a gifted surfboard that I took out every now and then and risked my life… Read More →

Frittata Foreplay

Start with olive oil.  Extra virgin.  Onions are also necessary; their round, sheer, fleshy layers that bounce and pop in the pan form a basis for all that is to follow.  Tiny droplets… Read More →

Impotent in the Forest

My morning alarm buzzed, 7 AM vibrate mode stirring against my wrist as I lay staring.  The flat white of the wall in front of me had been lightening shade by shade for… Read More →

Death. Jazz. Children.

The pelting wetness of rain seemed precise today, deserved, matching.  My stomach had settled nice and high in my chest and made everything just a little too crowded in there.  It’s odd how… Read More →

Rugby in Paris

Today started out quiet.  Relatively so. My version of quiet included The Mars Volta, a kitchen full of dirty dishes, sun reflecting on the building façades and a steaming French press for me… Read More →

Linguistic Dissociation & Glacier Prejudice

Once upon a bathtub, in a faraway land, anti-glaciers revolutionized my thought patterns. When it comes down to it, I do some of my best thinking while doing the dishes or bathing.  These… Read More →

Baths Vs. Showers; also Notes on Expansion

I love being right almost as much as I love learning something new.  Comme j’ai prevue, Paris was something new the next day, and the next, and even the one following.  In fact, I’ll… Read More →

The Good, The Bad, The Excrement

Every year, dozens of tourists and travelers fall victim to what is known as “Paris Syndrome.”  This condition was first recognized in Nervure, the French Journal of Psychiatry, in 2004 and is characterized by a plethora… Read More →

A True Curriculum Vitae

This last week I have done some necessary revisions and updates on my resume, a document which theoretically represents my self and my accomplishments.  As I have not touched said document for roughly… Read More →

Oh, The Semi-Moist Irony of it All

For the last 18 hours I have been in bed battling what I can only assume is a demon inside my head.  This is hard to admit since I am the type of… Read More →

Quelques Observations

JEW TOWN Villejuif is the name of the Parisian suburb where my new climbing gym is located.  This, roughly translated, means “Jew Town.”  Political correctness is not a major priority in French culture… Read More →

Sweat, Sex, Music. (Not in that order)

Not long ago, I drove to a friend’s house and really rocked out to an amazing song.  At the time the vocals, the guitar and the beat above all made me start to… Read More →

Ce qui monte… Must come down. (And vice-versa, Dieu merci)

Last night was a night for life lessons.  Last night was a seemingly inevitable kick in the crotch after four days of wandering around Paris telling myself,  My god this place is perfect,… Read More →

Grab the Seat of Your Pants and Voler!!!

Preparing to leave one’s country is a heady affair; cell phones to suspend, storage units to stuff and thereafter forget, tears to shed and goodbyes to share with those who rent space in… Read More →

Learning to Walk at Twenty-Five

In Paris you learn quickly where the infamous catwalk came from.  But the fashion-show promenade is the tame step-sister, a pale adaptation of The Walk one walks in Paris.  Down the Rue Des… Read More →